A common theme amongst my clients is complexity.
They have a lot, they do a lot, they want to do a lot, they help others do a lot, they accumulate a lot in order to do what they want.
They have rules about how they do things (or not do them), which complicates life. They can’t say no to others, which complicates life.
Do you insist that certain conditions be met before you take any action? Why? What do you gain? What do you lose? Are your rules helpful to you or unhelpful?
For example, do you insist on reading all the junk mail before you throw it in the recycling? Do you buy the latest issue of your favourite magazine despite not having read the last two yet? Do you insist on using a new towel each shower? Do you buy a new outfit whenever you have a special occasion to attend? Do you buy designer clothes for your 2yo tomboy? Do you entertain several nights a week? Do you volunteer for several committees? Do you only buy bread from a bakery 30 minutes’ drive away?
These are all examples of complexities that you impose upon yourself. They may or may not be helpful: that’s up to you to decide.
The more simple your life, the happier you’ll be. Trust me.
What complexities can you step away from today?
I’ve spent a lot of time decluttering everything. From the junk in my shed, to the people in my life. If I have no use for something, I throw it away, give it away, or sell it. If people are going to cause me grief and frustration in my life these days, I don’t keep them around as a friend and only keep those who are the good friends.
It’s a harsh reality, but people need to become selfish in order to look after themselves.
I spent a lot of time growing up and feeling like I had to be successful to be happy, and by being successful I had to have the nice car, the house, the job and the money. But none of it brought me happiness. I’ve had a slow process over the last year to purge things that don’t make me happy, and fix things that cause stress. Loans and income, are always a major stressor for the majority of people, but if they can find a way to live simple and not live out of their means, these become less stressful and they can resolve them quicker.
I recently picked up some books on buddism to read, and also a copy of “Unclutter your life in one week” and “the happiness trap”. People will take these books as a guide and a solution to their problem which is the wrong way to take on these things. They need to take it as advice and adapt it suit their life style, and remember that it wont happen overnight, everything takes progress and time. It doesn’t have to be done today, it doesn’t have to be done tomorrow, but allow plenty of time to adjust to the small changes and make them become some kind of habit, and this can apply to anything they want to work on, self improvement, weightloss, work, life, family, sport. Everything takes time, everything is a learning experience.
Wise words, thanks Alex 🙂